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The WeaselsA Society of Temporarily Useless, Pissed Idiots and Drunks (S.T.U.P.I.D.)
Part IIntro As of this writing, which is being written today, it being December 1st, 1996, also known as the first day of the twelfth month in the year of our lord nineteen-ninety-six (Jewish and Chinese Weasels may figure their own dates), Weasels have proliferated throughout the land so profusely that they have become more of a pest than the wholesome entity they originally were intended to convey. Although The Weasels were originally founded with the idea that rules are for morons, too many morons have become Weasels, necessitating rules and bylaws and, in effect, negating the entire purpose of The Weasels.Be this as it may, I, Red Baron (aka Kai Raecke, Intergalactic Editor of Easyriders Magazine), have bestowed upon myself the heavy task of creating these rules and bylaws, after having conferred with a majority Weasels (or at least one, which ever may have come first) of other Founding Weasels, henceforth known as The Grand Weasels. Therefore I, Red Baron (aka R.K., I.E. of ER), being of half ways sound body and mind and not too drunk at this time, hereby decree the following rules and bylaws in the name of The Original Weasels (henceforth known as The Really Grand Weasels), with the majority vote of at least one other Grand Weasel implied and enacted. But first, something important:
Part IIA History -- brief version There have been Weasels. And now, something even more important:
Part IIIA History -- the long version The Society of the Weasels (S.T.U.P.I.D.) was founded, if memory serves me right, around the 30th of February, 1994 or 3. The Original Weasels (henceforth known as The Damn Grand Weasels) consisted of nine or ten or twelve or so frustrated and drunken editors a-editing, scribes a-scribing and other associates a-associating for and with Easyriders Magazine and its sister publications (such as Biker, In the Wind, and VQ). To name these Original Weasels (henceforth known as The Grand Fucking Weasels) is impossible, as they are “Mossburger” Bob Cain, Gregg “Speed” Daniel, “Chicago” Frank Fittanto, Kit “I'm not the Devil” Maira, Dave “Phantom” Nichols, John “Commodore” Nielsen, Kim “Bomber” Peterson, Kai “Red Baron” Raecke, “Clean” Dean Shawler, Steve “Beatnik” Werner, “Rocket” Roger Winter, and Dave “Big Dave” Withrow.Sitting at Casa Rea, the Original Watering Hole of The Original Weasels (henceforth known as The Damn Grand Fucking Weasels), this above-mentioned group came up with what they thought was an antidote to an admittedly and thusly perceived uppity and snobbish club called The Hamsters (those in the know will know). The Weasels, by their very nature, have no money, ride shitty bikes, drink cheap beer, and only wanna have fun that doesn't cost a lot of money. One might say, in general terms, it was a direct outgrowth of the dismal pay conditions the Original Weasels (henceforth known as The Really Grand Fucking Weasels) experienced at the hands of their employer, as well as the constant confrontation with super-expensive bikes with lots of bolt-on accessories and high-tech goodies belonging to lesser rodents, the ability of others to produce aesthetically and technically pleasing bikes, the inability of The Original Weasels (henceforth and for the last time known as The Motherfucking Grand Weasels) to do likewise, and the specific jealousy stemming from these self-evident reasons. Since their inception, The Grand Weasels have spawned numerous outgrowths worldwide and have multiplied so prolifically, that now these newer Weasels, or Follower Weasels (aka Follo-Weas) have looked up to the Grand Weasels imploringly and asked, nay begged for guidance in the form of rules and bylaws. After long deliberation, much libation, against our better judgment, it being no better than none, and after repeatedly coming to the conclusion that rules are for morons and bylaws not much better than in-laws, we the Grand Weasels have decreed the following section of Rules And Bylaws. And now the really important part:
Part IVRules
Part VBylaws
Part VIMembership Rules As this is a chapter of Weaseldom which seems to cause the most problems and consternation, we have decided to dedicate a whole Part (Part VI, this one) to it.
Part VIIWeaselettes
Part VIIINew Chapters Unlike most intelligent books, this little volume is written in parts only and therefore has no chapters. And for your added illumination:
Part IXAuthorization & Enactment of Weasel-Rules and Bylaws This authorization and enactment of The Weasels Rules an Bylaws is made valid by the signature of a majority of Grand Weasels (or the ones available at the time), attached below. These are the Ten Commandments of Weaseldom and are to be obeyed as such. Any infraction of above described and outlined rules and bylaws will be punished severely and may result in the exclusion from the Glorious Empire of Weaseldom. And now, for the Grand Finale:
Part XCopyright and Patent rules The Weasels is an official society (S.T.U.P.I.D.) and as such implies all legal and illegal ramifications. The Weasels© is a registered trademark and may not be copied, published or otherwise proliferated without the consent of The Grand Weasels. Patent pending.Signed: The Grand Weasels |
Disclaimer: The name WEASELS USA and the Logo of a Weasel associated with a motorcycle is a registered trademark. The WEASELS are a SOCIAL ORGANISATION not a MOTORCYCLE CLUB. The name Weasels USA and the logo is a registered trademark. The use of the name, logo or any combination thereof without written authorization is prohibited in the states of Nevada, California, Oregon, Montana, Louisiana, Colorado, Wisconsin and Tennessee. Wyoming is pending. For information on the use contact Wayne Springmeyer, wezzl@juno.com
The information contained within was stolen without the permission of the Grand Weasels.
Weasels : A drinking club with a Motorcycling Problem.
WFFW - FYYFF